Hi Reader,
I hope July has been good to you. It's been a busy month for me, and I'm looking forward to a bit of a slower August.
Whatever your plans are for the coming month, I hope that you take the time to do something to make your inner child smile.
Swing on the swingset. Jump in the puddle. Play music louder than you can think. Sing off-key in the car. Roll down a grassy hill. Buy yourself an ice cream cone. Skip rocks on the water.
What can you do in the coming month to delight your inner child?
Bonus Blog Post! Why I Care So Much About Helping People Feel Like They Belong
Belonging has been the focus of my attention over the recent years. Probably because I’ve spent a lot of time wondering where I could find it.
By second grade, it was painfully obvious that I was different. I was often the teacher’s pet. I was emotional. I talked too much and struggled to sit still. My hair wasn’t always brushed, or was greasy. I was in an unusual home situation. I was the kid that other kids picked on and teacher’s said “wasn’t living up to her potential.”
Looking back, there were many reasons for that. But at the time, I just knew that I was different than my peers. And I couldn’t seem to make myself be more like them no matter how I tried.
I think that when you’ve spent years feeling like you don’t belong, you become pretty good and looking for places where you might.
For a long time, I thought belonging meant simply being accepted. Then I thought it meant finding my people. Then I thought it meant fitting in well enough that people would hopefully decide to keep me around.
I’ve learned that those aren’t necessarily the same thing at all.
This Week's Quick Tips - Things to Try When You're Avoiding Something Important
- Ask yourself, "What am I actually avoiding?" The task itself, the feelings it brings up, or the story you're telling yourself about it might all have different solutions.
- Make the task smaller than your brain thinks it should be. Ridiculously small still counts.
- Try writing down the very next step instead of the entire project. "Open the document" is a perfectly acceptable first step.
- If you've been avoiding it for weeks, ask yourself what emotion keeps showing up when you think about it. Shame, fear, perfectionism, and uncertainty are sneaky little things.
- Give yourself permission to do an incomplete version. Half done is often more useful than perfectly imagined.
- Ask yourself what would make this task feel 5% easier.
- Borrow someone else's executive functioning if you can. Text a friend, join a coworking session, or simply sit near another human while you do the thing.
- If the task has become emotionally loaded, consider whether you've attached it to your worth. Paying the bill, sending the email, or making the appointment doesn't determine whether you're a good person.
- Celebrate starting instead of waiting to celebrate finishing. Beginning deserves credit too.
- Remember that avoidance is information, not a character flaw. Curiosity will usually get you farther than criticism ever will.
Gentle Reflection Question
What are you making harder because you think you "should" do it the conventional way?
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What's Kat Up To?
News For August
August is my self-imposed light month. I take this month to rest, renew, refresh. All the good things. What does that mean for you? Hopefully you'll barely notice!
August blog posts featured in my newsletters will be classic posts from the last few years.
PLUS - each newsletter in August will have one very quick poll for you to take. I'm hoping that you will respond to the polls - it would mean a lot to me and it will help me get to know you better.
That's it for me today my friend. I hope that you have an amazing weekend and remember - you are a rock star!
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Find Me Where Ever You Are!
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