Dear Reader,
Twice recently, someone has described me—or my life—as fascinating. And both times, it made my breath catch a little and my eyes get a little misty.
Because fascinating isn't a word I would have thought to use.
I'm so used to being inside this life. To me, it's just...my life. All the weird turns and hard things. The things I've survived, the things I've figured out, the things I'm still figuring out. From the inside, so much of it has felt messy. Heavy. Sometimes, often even burdensome.
And then someone else looks at the very same collection of experiences and sees something fascinating.
It made me think about perspective.
How easy it is to become so accustomed to our own stories that we stop seeing what's remarkable about them. We see the mess because we remember cleaning it up. We see the scars because we remember how we got them.
Sometimes it takes someone standing outside our story to remind us that there's another way to see it.
Maybe my life is messy.
Maybe it's also fascinating.
I'm kind of sitting with that.
What perspective might need shifting for you?
Rebuilding Self Trust: One of the Unexpected Goals of ADHD Coaching
Originally Written by Kat Sweeney, ACC for the Mentor Coach Newsletter
One of the most common things I hear while coaching ADHD clients revolves around one thing: they don’t trust themselves anymore.
Sometimes it’s about remembering appointments, or following through with a project, or consistently using that planner they were so excited to buy three months ago. (Let’s be honest, if they are like me, they could probably open a small office supply store with all the planners and notebooks they’ve bought and discarded over the years.)
But often those are just examples of something much bigger. Many people aren’t just frustrated with their ADHD; they are frustrated with themselves. After years of missing details, forgetting important things, trying to be consistent, and feeling like they let people down, those experiences slowly become part of how they see themselves.
People come to ADHD coaching wanting better executive functioning, less overwhelm, and routines they can stick to. Those goals matter, and they are absolutely part of the work. As both an ADHD coach and someone with ADHD, I’ve realized that one of the most meaningful things we are often working on isn’t “getting stuff done”—it’s trusting ourselves.
Tips for Preparing for a Performance Review With an ADHD Brain
- Don't ask your brain to remember what you did all year. Take the time to go back through your calenar, emails, etc. Jot down things you've been doing. You've probably accomplished way more things than you remember off the top of your head.
- Bring some receipts. Numbers, feedback, results - whatever helps show what you contributed and how it was good for the company.
- Remember to think about what YOU want from the conversation. What would make your job a little better - more support? Clearer communication? More training? A raise? You can ask for things too.
- Think through the obvious questions before the meeting. What went well, what was hard, what needs improvement, what do you want to work on next. Just try to have a few notes so your brain doesn't freeze.
- Don't feel pressured to respond to feedback immediately. Especially if something catches you off guard. Ask questions. Take notes, ask for an example. Say you want some time to think about it. You are allowed to process.
- Bonus Points - if you can, plan a little breathing room after the review. Plan for time off or a lunch break if it's possible. Even if you expect and receive a glorious review, they can still take a lot out of you. Take a few minutes. Breathe. Jot down notes while they are fresh.
- Remember - it's a job review, not a life review!
Gentle Reflection Question
What are you tired of pretending doesn't matter?
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What's Kat Up To?
That's it today. I don't know about you but I'm finding it hard to believe we are already halfway through September. My sunflowers are gone, and it's time to get out fall and Halloween decorations!
Have an amazing weekend - you deserve it!
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Find Me Where Ever You Are!
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