Next month is ADHD Awareness Month - I'll be sharing lots of stuff during the month.
If you have topics you'd like to hear about, questions you'd like answered, blogs you'd like written - shoot me an email and let me know. I'll do my best to get to all reasonable suggestions and questions!
In the meantime - don't forget that we start the ADHD Awareness Tiny Experiment Challenge on October 1st! Sign up and each day you'll receive one tiny experiment to try.
Some will work for your brain, some won't - we're collecting data and experimenting. Sign up today!
Stand Tall and Face The Sun
Seven Things You Can Stop Feeling Guilty About Today
Real Chat: many of us with ADHD and other neurodivergent brains have accidentally become very good at feeling guilty.
Forgot something? Guilt.
Run late? Guilt.
Need a break? Guilt.
Saying “no” to something because we are overwhelmed? Guilt.
Saying yes when we are overwhelmed and then burning out? You’ve guessed it. More Guilt.
Many of us have spent so many years being told we were wrong, or “bad,” that we are used to blaming ourselves and feeling guilty.
Somwhere along the journey we often learned that the way our brains work and the things we need to support our brains – as character flaws.
And let me be clear – I am in no way suggesting that we never need to take responsibility for anything. Sometimes we mess up. Sometimes our ADHD impacts others unintentionally. Sometimes we need to say we are sorry, repair something, or figure out a better way to handle something next time.
But responsibility does not need to equal beating ourselves up.
We carry far too much guilt and shame. Here are seven things we can stop feeling guilty about today. (Or try, anyway.)
Tips for Knowing Whether Your Kid Can’t Do Something or Won’t Do It
Get Curious First. Remember that kids want to do well. Before assuming that they are refusing, get curious. Do they know how to do it or where to start? Are the hungry, tired, or distracted?
Look at the invisible steps. You might be asking, "get ready for bed." But they may get overwhelmed by the number of steps that takes - pajamas, teeth brushing, bathroom, etc. Can the request be broken down for easier digestion?
Don't compare abilities based on age. Remember that kids with ADHD can be 30ish percent delayed in some or all of their executive function skills. So while "12" may be the age a neurotypical child is able to "do the thing" - a 12 year old with ADHD may have some of those skills functioning at like a 9 year old level.
Notice when and what they CAN do. Is this job easier at certain parts of the day? Can they do it when no one is rushing? What about with someone else sitting with them? Build from there!
Be curious about "I don't care." That sometimes does mean I don't care. But sometimes it means, I don't know how, I forgot, it's hopeless, I'll never get it right. Don't interrogate them, but don't assume they really don't care.
If you aren't sure if they are struggling or being defiant - respond to the struggle first. Offer support, make the next step clearer, regulate if needed. You can offer support without "letting them off the hook."
Gentle Reflection Question
What's one thing you keep expecting yourself to do that doesn't fit your current capacity?
Check This Out
I'm partnering with Emily from Squirrel Space for an October social event! We'll be meeting on Sunday, October 18th at 3 p.m. Eastern time. Dress up for Halloween - or use a fun FILTER!
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