Dear Reader!,
I hope you are having an amazing start to November. It's finally started getting cold around here - the dogs love it! Me....it's a love/hate relationship. But it's been a beautiful fall here so I am grateful.
Real Chat Moment: I have imposter syndrome. Speaking on a stage with a live audience, and getting such amazing feedback has really impacted me. I've had several people say really amazing things about me.
And there's still a tiny part of me that wonders what would those people think if they found out I'm just me. They see me as an expert, as a community builder, as a force of nature. (All their words)
I see the girl who was picked on and bullied. I see the high school drop out and single mom. I see the woman who couldn't get ouf of bed for a year.
This is just a reminder to you - and to myself - when we look in the mirror we see every awkward phase, every bad decision, every time we screwed something up, and every crappy thing someone made us believe about ourselves.
Meanwhile, other people aren't looking at us through that same lens. They see the expert, the inspiration, the person who made a difference in their life.
We're still arguing with old versions of ourselves while other people are appreciating the person standing right in front of them.
We're seeing everything we've been through. They're seeing everything we've become.
New Blog Post: Taking Responsibility without Taking All the Blame
How many times have you genuinely intended to do something, then forgot about it, and then felt like the worst human ever when someone pointed it out?
Maybe you were late (again). Maybe you promised to email someone but it completely slipped your mind. Maybe you told your partner you’d get milk on the way home and arrived home with no milk.
You know it matters. You know your actions affect other people. And chances are, you’re already frustrated with yourself before anyone else has to say a word.
Here’s the thing: Having ADHD doesn’t mean we are never responsible for our actions.
But – it also doesn’t mean that every struggle is a personal failure.
There’s a difference between taking responsibility and taking on a bunch of blame.
And that difference matters – it’s important.
Ways to Challenge the “Too Much / Not Enough” Narrative
- Ask yourself whose standards you're measuring yourself against. Too much for whom? Not enough according to what? Sometimes the problem isn't you. It's the measuring stick.
- Replace judgment with curiosity. Instead of "Why am I so sensitive?" try "What about this situation is affecting me so strongly?" Curiosity opens doors that shame keeps locked.
- Remember that your needs aren't character flaws. Needing quiet, reassurance, accommodations, extra time, or support doesn't make you difficult. It makes you a human with needs.
- Make room for your strengths without apologizing for them. Your enthusiasm, creativity, intensity, and passion don't need to come with a disclaimer.
- Practice being enough right now. Not when you're more organized, less emotional, more productive, or better at keeping up. Right here, in your wonderfully imperfect, still-figuring-it-out life.
Gentle Reflection Question
What does belonging feel like in your body?
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What's Kat Up To?
Mean Girls Black Friday Watch Party
On Friday, November 27, Coach Lee of Patterns of Possibility, Coach Emily of Squirrel Space, and I are going to hang out and watch Mean Girls. (Can you believe I've never seen it?)
We'd love for you to join us - FREE - ONLINE - No shopping!
We gather at 4 p.m. Eastern, and start about 4:15 Eastern. This is for a small number of neurodivergent folks who want some easy and low key company on a holiday weekend.
Register for the link here: https://luma.com/d4xstj7g​
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Individual ADHD Coaching
1:1 Coaching with Coach Kat
​Find Out More​
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That's it for me today my friend. I hope you have an amazing weekend - don't forget to take time just for you.
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Find Me Where Ever You Are!
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