Dear Reader,
June is Pride Month, and for me a time to celebrate. At the same time, I have a quiet awareness that June is can be a tricky month for some humans.
Where I live, June brings the end of the school year for most students. There are many end-of-year activities, field trips, fun theme days to remember, considerations about summer activities, and for some of you - graduation details.
That's a lot to juggle for any parent - tossing parental or children's ADHD in there and it can suddenly become a three ring circus.
June also brings Father's Day. For some that may bring joy, gratitude, excitement....for other's it may bring sadness, grief, resentment, loneliness. June can be complicated. I see you.
Happy Father's Day to all the dad's and dad-like figures out there.
New Blog - What Happens When Every Conversation Feels Like Criticism
ADHD Relationships and Communication
Real Chat: When you grow up hearing some version of:
- “you’re lazy”
- “you’re not trying hard enought”
- “you’re not living up to your potential”
- “you’re too sensitive”
- “you need to apply yourself”
- “you need to try harder”
- “Why can’t you just….”
……it changes you.
Not always in loud and dramatic ways. Sometimes it changes the way your body reacts before your brain even catches up.
A simple question suddenly feels fully loaded.
A reminder may feel like judgment.
Feedback can feel like failure.
Even a sigh across the room feels personal.
After a while you stop entering conversations expecting connection. Instead you enter them preparing for criticism. Steeling for it.
Because when correction becomes the background music of your life, your nervous system starts learning that conversations are not safe. They are places you might be evaluated.
This Week's Quick Tips: Ways to Shift From “Do They Like Me?” to “Do I Like This Here?”
- Notice Your Energy Pay attention to whether you leave interactions feeling energized, drained, tense, or relaxed.
- Pay Attention to Your Body Your body often notices safety, tension, and belonging before your brain catches up.
- Notice How Much Masking Is Required Some adaptation is normal. Constantly editing yourself can be a sign that the space isn’t a great fit.
- Consider Whether Your Values Align You don’t have to agree on everything, but shared values often create stronger feelings of belonging.
- Remember That Not Every Space Is Your Space A lack of fit doesn’t automatically mean there’s something wrong with you.
Remember that you get a vote too You are not just being chosen by a community, relationship, or group—you are choosing them, too.
Keeping that in mind matters.
Gentle Reflection Question
What do you need right now that you haven’t said out loud yet?
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In closing today, I'm taking this space to honor and recognize that tomorrow is the 10th anniversary of the tragedy that occurrd at PULSE Nightclub on June 12, 2016. 49 beautiful humans, mostly queer, and mostly of Latino descent were gunned down. More than 50 others were injured. Although it's been ten years, we never forget.
Enjoy your weekend my friend!
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