Setting Boundaries with Your ADHD Brain

Dear Reader!,

We've made it to the end of May! Hurray! Around here it's finally getting to be nice weather more consistently and I'm looking forward to enjoying the sunshine.

I hope you had a pleasant holiday weekend last weekend - I ended up in the Emergency Department and then admitted to the hospital. The wait times to be seen at the emergency department is terrifying, and likely killing people. When the staff doesn't even blink when a woman is on the floor of the lobby retching for multiple hours....there's something dangerously wrong with our systems.

I'm okay now, home and well - but that experience could have been way less traumatizing had I simply been able to get fluids and anti-nausea medications sooner than 4 hours after arrival at the ER. So always try Urgent Care first is my lesson of the week! I hope you had a much more relaxing weekend than I did.

This Week's ADHD Deep Dive - A gentle deep dive into something that shapes our real, beautifully wired lives.

Setting Boundaries When Your ADHD Brain Wants To Say Yes To Everything

The Self Advocacy Files

A lot of ADHD Humans accidentally overcommitters. Not because we are irresponsible or don’t want to protect our wellbeing – but because in the moment saying “yes” often feels easier.

It might be the thing that sounds exciting or important or manageable. Or maybe it feels emotionally uncomfortable to say no. So we say yes.

Then suddenly we are overwhelmed, behind on things, and wondering when things got out of control. Our brains tend to be compassionate, curious, and we have dopamine-seeking brains.

That means boundaries can feel realy hard – especially for people who spent years masking and people pleasing.

But boundaries aren’t about becoming selfish, unavailable, or “not a team player.”

They are about creating enough room for your actual brain and nervous system to function properly.

Read The Full Blog Here

How to Stay Focused on Solutions (Not Blame)

Ask “What Would Help Right Now?” Blame looks backward. Solutions look forward. Shift the question from “Why did this happen?” to “What support would make this easier?”
Look for Patterns, Not Personal Failures. If the same problem keeps happening, it’s probably not about “trying harder.” It’s a clue that a system, routine, or support needs adjusting.
Replace “Should” with “Could." “What should I have done?” often spirals into shame. “What could help next time?” opens the door to problem-solving.
Don’t Turn Every Mistake Into a Personality Trait. Missing one deadline does not mean you’re irresponsible forever. One rough moment is not your identity.
Keep the Goal Bigger Than Being Right. Sometimes proving a point matters less than protecting the relationship, solving the problem, or reducing stress.